Vision

Some things 2009 holds.

By this year's end I hope to be (in no particular order):

An Author.
A Recording Artist.
A Video Director/Producer.
A Lead Worshipper.
A Boyfriend.
A Mentor.
A Portrayer of Jesus.
A Lover of People.
A Better Man.
A Dog Owner.
A Visionary.
An Innovator.
A Revolution.

A Man of My Word.

Love.

I Wrote A Small Book

It’s a monsoon -

Today has been an interesting day.
I’ve come to some realizations, which has led to more questions.
I feel like I’m in the middle of a hurricane.
The wind is tossing me around.
I’m getting massive amounts of God’s rain poured on me.
I’m tattered and torn.
But I’m still standing...unfortunately, not wearing a rain coat.
I’m soaked.

As you know, the saying goes,
“When it rains, it pours.”

That seems to be holding true for my life right at this moment.
But I’m still standing.
Steadfast.
Not wavering.

I’m in Love with the Creator that is pouring on me.
Blessing.
Heart ache.
Fear.
Impatience.
Love.

All of these things have been filling me lately.
A few instances follow.

First:
Let’s get the part about girls out of the way.

I am at a point in my life where I feel I’m comfortable to let a girl walk in.
Not that big of a deal right?
Well a girl came into my life.
Then another.
And another.
And another.

Now I didn’t approach every situation with the intent of dating.
As a result, I’ve created some very good friends.

I just have yet to find “the” girl.

This may not seem like a big deal to most.
But on me, this places a lot of emotional strain.

I like girls.
What red-blooded, homes-chooled, American guy doesn’t?

I bite off more than I can chew.
Ending up exhausted in the end.

It’s an issue I’m working on.
Your private counsel (opinion) is not desired.

Second:
I’m intentionally being more transparent with my faith.
Something that should be done by all people who call themselves Christians.
Because let me tell you, it feels awesome!

God created us to live for His glory.
Not ours.
And when we live and Love for Him, I think we know it.
He reveals Himself to us.

I recently read Francis Chan’s book “Crazy Love.”
(If you get the chance, pick it up.)
Chan just really challenged me to continue to live the life that I say I do.
Always good to have that type of encouragement.

I’m currently reading “Lord, Save Us From Your Followers” by Dan Merchant.
(Also a good read.)
Merchant has done some extensive interviews and research on how Christians are percieved by culture and society.
Very enlightening stuff.
Making me want to live differently.
I probably will.

I recently took the initiative to share my faith with someone.
I wasn’t well received.
I’m still praying for the situation.

Third:
I’ve been alone in my department of the office for close to a month.
Jason has been on vacation and is also working on classes for his master’s degree.
Both good things for him and his family.

It’s been challenging to say the least.
But I think it’s been extremely beneficial.
To myself.
To Jason.
To the kids under our ministry umbrella.
To Windsor Road
To the Church.

I’ve bulldozed through my eight month wall.
I’m actually enjoying what I’m doing now.

God has been faithful in revealing to me His Plan.
I’m a musician and a multi-media guru.
All my life I’ve sworn up and down I would never work in the church.
I have since realized differently.

I think God takes our “never” moments and uses them to stretch us.
Building us into the people He needs us to be.
Using us to reach the people he needs us to reach.

I may not be at Windsor Road forever.
But for now, God is using me there.
And that’s comforting.

In Closing:
I leave Wednesday night for Michigan.
I plan on accomplishing 2 things while I’m there.

1: The Tide reunion show will be awesome.

2: I plan on mending some failed and tattered relationships.

I know this trip will be healing for everyone involved.
Michigan is healing.

I’ve said a lot.
If I haven’t talked to you in a while, and you feel I’ve neglected you,
I would like to talk to you again.
I’m different.
I’m better.
I’m Loved.

You are Loved.

‘Til next time.

Reflections on Christmas - Visions of New Years

Sometimes I just like to sit still for a while.
Not saying a word.
Not hearing anything or anyone else.
Just sitting with the world shut out.

And then there are times where I open up and let things out.

This Christmas was especially memorable to me.
As I've set into an anti-consumerist mindset,
I've found Christmas in a new light this year.

I spent my money on people who needed it this year,
Rather than giving gifts to people who have enough.

I spent Christmas Eve hauling guitars around playing and
Attending Christmas Eve services around the state.

First, Champaign.
The, Taylorville.

One of my sisters and I joked for most of the service.
Reminiscing on how similar this year was to years past.
I think she even won a Christmas bet with my dad on
A particular song that was sung.

But it wasn't the Christmas Eve services that were different.

Christmas morning had a eerie feeling.
It was no different from any other morning,
Sans the fact that mom was making special waffles.

As we sat around our waffles and coffee,
I shared my tentative goals and plans for the next year.
We talked about America.
We talked about the world.
We talked about The Church.

But the one thing that stood out was a dream.
A shared dream, that in our lifetime we would see Revolution.
A revival of sorts.
I spiritual uprising that will shake the foundations of America,
The world,
And more importantly The Church.

Kind of an unusual conversation for Christmas morning.
But then I got to thinking about it.
Christmas was the beginning of a revival, a revolt, a revision.

God came down to earth through Jesus to stir things up a bit.
Jesus later died carrying the sins of the world so we don't have to.

Christmas is the story of Revolution.

So I made a choice this Christmas.

I'm not going to let another Christmas come and go without revolution.
I think the year 2009 has some exciting things in store.

I think it's time for my generation to revolt.
I think it's time for revival.

If that means persecution - so be it.
If that means pain and hurting - so be it.
If that means being uncomfortable - so be it.
If that means loving with reckless abandon - so be it.

If that means that I might lose my life to save another - so be it.

God, be the solution.

Love.

SO BE IT!