It's All Up To Us

Vision

2009-01-24T21:25:00.003-06:00

Some things 2009 holds.

By this year's end I hope to be (in no particular order):

An Author.
A Recording Artist.
A Video Director/Producer.
A Lead Worshipper.
A Boyfriend.
A Mentor.
A Portrayer of Jesus.
A Lover of People.
A Better Man.
A Dog Owner.
A Visionary.
An Innovator.
A Revolution.

A Man of My Word.

Love.

I Wrote A Small Book

2009-01-13T18:06:00.000-06:00

It’s a monsoon -

Today has been an interesting day.
I’ve come to some realizations, which has led to more questions.
I feel like I’m in the middle of a hurricane.
The wind is tossing me around.
I’m getting massive amounts of God’s rain poured on me.
I’m tattered and torn.
But I’m still standing...unfortunately, not wearing a rain coat.
I’m soaked.

As you know, the saying goes,
“When it rains, it pours.”

That seems to be holding true for my life right at this moment.
But I’m still standing.
Steadfast.
Not wavering.

I’m in Love with the Creator that is pouring on me.
Blessing.
Heart ache.
Fear.
Impatience.
Love.

All of these things have been filling me lately.
A few instances follow.

First:
Let’s get the part about girls out of the way.

I am at a point in my life where I feel I’m comfortable to let a girl walk in.
Not that big of a deal right?
Well a girl came into my life.
Then another.
And another.
And another.

Now I didn’t approach every situation with the intent of dating.
As a result, I’ve created some very good friends.

I just have yet to find “the” girl.

This may not seem like a big deal to most.
But on me, this places a lot of emotional strain.

I like girls.
What red-blooded, homes-chooled, American guy doesn’t?

I bite off more than I can chew.
Ending up exhausted in the end.

It’s an issue I’m working on.
Your private counsel (opinion) is not desired.

Second:
I’m intentionally being more transparent with my faith.
Something that should be done by all people who call themselves Christians.
Because let me tell you, it feels awesome!

God created us to live for His glory.
Not ours.
And when we live and Love for Him, I think we know it.
He reveals Himself to us.

I recently read Francis Chan’s book “Crazy Love.”
(If you get the chance, pick it up.)
Chan just really challenged me to continue to live the life that I say I do.
Always good to have that type of encouragement.

I’m currently reading “Lord, Save Us From Your Followers” by Dan Merchant.
(Also a good read.)
Merchant has done some extensive interviews and research on how Christians are percieved by culture and society.
Very enlightening stuff.
Making me want to live differently.
I probably will.

I recently took the initiative to share my faith with someone.
I wasn’t well received.
I’m still praying for the situation.

Third:
I’ve been alone in my department of the office for close to a month.
Jason has been on vacation and is also working on classes for his master’s degree.
Both good things for him and his family.

It’s been challenging to say the least.
But I think it’s been extremely beneficial.
To myself.
To Jason.
To the kids under our ministry umbrella.
To Windsor Road
To the Church.

I’ve bulldozed through my eight month wall.
I’m actually enjoying what I’m doing now.

God has been faithful in revealing to me His Plan.
I’m a musician and a multi-media guru.
All my life I’ve sworn up and down I would never work in the church.
I have since realized differently.

I think God takes our “never” moments and uses them to stretch us.
Building us into the people He needs us to be.
Using us to reach the people he needs us to reach.

I may not be at Windsor Road forever.
But for now, God is using me there.
And that’s comforting.

In Closing:
I leave Wednesday night for Michigan.
I plan on accomplishing 2 things while I’m there.

1: The Tide reunion show will be awesome.

2: I plan on mending some failed and tattered relationships.

I know this trip will be healing for everyone involved.
Michigan is healing.

I’ve said a lot.
If I haven’t talked to you in a while, and you feel I’ve neglected you,
I would like to talk to you again.
I’m different.
I’m better.
I’m Loved.

You are Loved.

‘Til next time.

Reflections on Christmas - Visions of New Years

2008-12-27T08:24:00.002-06:00

Sometimes I just like to sit still for a while.
Not saying a word.
Not hearing anything or anyone else.
Just sitting with the world shut out.

And then there are times where I open up and let things out.

This Christmas was especially memorable to me.
As I've set into an anti-consumerist mindset,
I've found Christmas in a new light this year.

I spent my money on people who needed it this year,
Rather than giving gifts to people who have enough.

I spent Christmas Eve hauling guitars around playing and
Attending Christmas Eve services around the state.

First, Champaign.
The, Taylorville.

One of my sisters and I joked for most of the service.
Reminiscing on how similar this year was to years past.
I think she even won a Christmas bet with my dad on
A particular song that was sung.

But it wasn't the Christmas Eve services that were different.

Christmas morning had a eerie feeling.
It was no different from any other morning,
Sans the fact that mom was making special waffles.

As we sat around our waffles and coffee,
I shared my tentative goals and plans for the next year.
We talked about America.
We talked about the world.
We talked about The Church.

But the one thing that stood out was a dream.
A shared dream, that in our lifetime we would see Revolution.
A revival of sorts.
I spiritual uprising that will shake the foundations of America,
The world,
And more importantly The Church.

Kind of an unusual conversation for Christmas morning.
But then I got to thinking about it.
Christmas was the beginning of a revival, a revolt, a revision.

God came down to earth through Jesus to stir things up a bit.
Jesus later died carrying the sins of the world so we don't have to.

Christmas is the story of Revolution.

So I made a choice this Christmas.

I'm not going to let another Christmas come and go without revolution.
I think the year 2009 has some exciting things in store.

I think it's time for my generation to revolt.
I think it's time for revival.

If that means persecution - so be it.
If that means pain and hurting - so be it.
If that means being uncomfortable - so be it.
If that means loving with reckless abandon - so be it.

If that means that I might lose my life to save another - so be it.

God, be the solution.

Love.

SO BE IT!

Something to Consider

2008-11-19T14:32:00.001-06:00

Watch this video.
You might rethink some things.

Dear Anonymous

2008-11-19T10:57:00.002-06:00

To the person posting anonymously in my comments:

I don't normally bring these things to attention,
Because I don't know anyone that has a problem with me.

I'm just wondering if you'd like to get together and talk.
I'd rather you hear my heart, then read it.

Until then, negative, aggressive comments aren't necessary.
It's not accomplishing anything for anyone.

You are Loved.

Nash

Is This It?

2008-11-12T14:57:00.002-06:00

This has been a question running through my head for quite some time.
I've been at Windsor Road for 3 months to the day today.
And I'm already looking for the exit door planning an escape route.

It's not because I don't enjoy what I do.
It has nothing to do with the people I work with.
It has nothing to do with Champaign/Urbana.

It has everything to do with me.

You see, I get in an 8 month rut.
I get uncomfortable and squirmy every 8 months or so.
So I look for the next thing.
I hit that 8 month wall last month.

When I moved back to Illinois, I just started praying.
I was searching.
I had no idea what I wanted to do or where I wanted to be in life.

I wanted to figure things out on my own.
That didn't work out so well.
So I kept praying.

In June, I was given the opportunity to serve at Windsor Road.
I accepted, and in August began a year long internship.

Notice that "year long" part.
I signed up for something that has been stretching my 8 month comfort zone.
I'm one fourth of the way through.
It's been challenging.

For those of you that know me at any capacity, you know that I love people.
I'm a people person.
People make me tick.

I thought WRCC was a good move to get involved in people's lives.
And it has been.
I Love the people here.
I'm in the heart of middle to upper class white-collared America.

This is where I find myself squirming.

I think through prayer and conversation, I'm on the move again.
I'm on the move to find a way out of society.
To find a way to stand out in a way that's uncomfortable.
I want to love people with real Love.

I'm reminded of the Irresistible Revolution.
I just want to live intentionally.
Love intentionally.

I want to relate to people who have never had a taste with middle class.
I want to relate to people who have acquired a taste for cold food.
For strange looks as people pass them by on the street.
For rejection.
For Love.

I want to be intentional for Love.
Jesus is my greatest example.
And I want that.
I want Jesus.

I'm not interested in getting caught up in church politics,
Bureaucracy,
Hypocrisy,
Comfortability.

Not to say that the places I'm involved are that way.
I just want to be different.
Intentional.
Love

I plan on bringing change.
Won't you join me?

Shut Up!

2008-11-04T09:35:00.003-06:00

I'm so tired of people who claim to be Christians,
But instead, insist on running their mouths.

Just live your faith.
I don't need your opinion.
Jesus didn't give His opinion.
He spoke truth.

So unless you're speaking truth,
Just shut up!

Listen to what James writes...

My dear brothers, take note of this:

Everyone should be quick to listen,
slow to speak and slow to become angry,
for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life
that God desires.

Therefore, get rid of all moral filth
and the evil that is so prevalent
and humbly accept the word planted in you,
which can save you.

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves.
Do what it says.

Anyone who listens to the word
but does not do what it says
is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and,
after looking at himself,
goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.

But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom,
and continues to do this,
not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—
he will be blessed in what he does.

If anyone considers himself religious
and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue,
he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this:

to look after orphans and widows in their distress
and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

I'm Getting Free Coffee

2008-11-02T15:26:00.000-06:00

Politicians

2008-11-01T16:03:00.001-05:00

So I just had a revelation of sorts...

I don't trust politicians.
That's because they don't have beards.

Jesus had a beard.
I'll trust Him instead.

Happy No Shave Novembeard!

That is all.

Heartbroken

2008-10-28T20:59:00.003-05:00

Have you ever had a gut wrenching feeling?
So terrible to the point that you feel like you might throw up?
I'm there right now, and I am trying to process why.
I've been through a lot in the short 22 years of my life.
I've seen a lot of things.
I've met a lot of people.

But this one feeling inside of me doesn't disappear.
It won't leave me alone.
It's a constant hunger that needs feeding.
And I think it's only found through people.

Love.

I experienced Love this weekend in a way I never have before.
I hung out with 30 homeless people in Springfield.
I went with a group from my Church community.
20 Junior High kids and 7 adults.

I found Love this weekend.
I found Love in people.
And I discovered that "homeless" is a terrible title to put on people.
They are just people, like you and me.

They may not smell nice.
They may not look the best.
They may not be the friendliest person you meet.
But you know what?

They Love.

They know what Love is.
They long to Love.
They give Love.
They have Love.

It almost flows out of them freely whether they know it or not.

I capitalize Love.
Because Jesus is Love.

I saw Jesus in 30 People this weekend.
It changed my life.

All my life I've tried to fill up on lowercase love.
I've failed time and again.
I've made mistakes.
I've shattered dreams.
I've broken hearts.
I've been heartbroken.
All because of superficial,

insufficient,
illegitimate,
imperfect,
lowercase love.

My heart is pounding right now.
I wish that I could reconnect with every girl I've ever said "I love you" to.
Because I want to apologize for not Loving.
My heart breaks for them.
What might their lives be like if I Loved them before I "loved" them?
What might my life be like?

So, Caprice, Joanna, Kelsi, Kristy, Emilie, Brooke, Andrea, Beth, Becky, (insert your name here),
If you happen to read this, please know I'm sorry.
And if we cross paths again, ask me how I'm Loving.

Sorry to the rest of you for the level of awkward that was just surpassed.

I've been trying to be intentional lately.
I'm doing a better job.
This life doesn't matter if you aren't investing in people.

And
Loving
Them.

I know I'm not alone.
Although I feel that way sometimes.
So If you could right now, just lift me up in prayer.
Not for anything specific.
Whatever you feel like.
I'm an emotional guy and you just got emotionally vomited on.

I'll try to clean up after myself.

Love.

Don't Vote

2008-10-02T08:53:00.002-05:00

It's amazing to me how I have completely done a 180 as far as voting is concerned.
But I think there are issues and morality at stake.
And even though, my allegiance is to Christ first, I think he would be disappointed in me if I didn't take a stand for what I believe.

Barack Obama is not change.
John McCain is not change.
We are the change.
Be the change.

Election 2008

2008-10-01T21:44:00.000-05:00

So I hate using blogs as a platform on which to give my opinion.
But someone shared something with me today that is rather disturbing.
It bothers me that things go on in this country that sometimes never surface to the ears of it's people.
It bother me that the people who have "power" in this country tend to use it for their own purposes.

Folks we live in an empire.
She will fall.
We will go down with her unless we do something to change it.

I have a couple links here that you are welcome to check out.
I haven't researched a perspective on the McCain camp, but what I found in relation to Obama is chilling and awful.
I have had enough with politics.
So this is not a political plea.
This is a plea for us as human beings.
And if you are a follower of Christ.
This should strike a different chord with you.
I hope your hearts become as heavy as mine is and you will make the decision that best suits your beliefs and morals come Nov. 4th.
I think I've said enough.

Allows these articles to speak for themselves.

http://www.factcheck.org/elections-2008/obama_and_infanticide.html

http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/new.php?n=11799

http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=59702

Making It Real

2008-09-25T19:54:00.000-05:00

So I'm sitting outside a coffee shop.
I'm minding my own business.
Four average ladies walk outside.
They sit two tables away.
Two younger. Two older.

And in such close quarters, I eaves drop.
Their conversation begins with small talk.
I notice a Bible on the table.
My first reaction is this:
"Crap, here we go again.
Another group of Christian "know-it-alls."

God has a funny way of humbling us.
Even our thoughts.
The two younger ladies are witnessing to the older.
They are sharing Jesus.
They are not Christians.
They are followers of Jesus.
They are making their faith real.

I am so humbled by their actions.
Here I sit by myself.
Using my computer.
Reflecting on what my next Jr. High series will include.
And God is showing Himself to me through four women at a coffee shop.

This has given me new insight to my faith.
Coffee shop evangelism.
I don't think this is too difficult.
I'm willing to bet 95 percent of the people reading this,
Were at a coffee shop of some degree today.

Why am I so calloused?
Am I afraid?
Afraid to be looked at?
Afraid to raise questions?
Afraid to be persecuted?

I'm tired of being afraid.
The two younger ladies are loving.
They are showing more love than I hold in my hand.
My heart is empty.
My heart is hard.

Thank you, two younger ladies, for softening my heart.
Thank you for showing me that faith is real.
I want to make this real.
I want to be alive.
I am no longer ok with being complacent and dead.

Love is the key.
Love is all we need.

Love.
Love.
Love.
Love.

Rich Young Ruler

2008-09-17T16:15:00.000-05:00

Here are some lyrics from Derek Webb who is one of my favorite artists.
These kind of stung a little bit.
I hope they do the same to you.

Poverty
Is so hard to see
When it’s only on your TV
Or 20 miles across town

Where we’re all living so good
We moved out of Jesus’ neighborhood
Where He’s hungry and not feeling so good
From going through our trash

He says “More than just your cash and coin
I want your time, I want your voice
I want the things you just can’t give me”

So what must we do
Here in the West we want to follow you
We speak the language and keep all the rules
Even a few that we made up

So come on and follow me
Sell your house, sell your SUV
Sell your stocks, sell your security
Give it to the poor

What is this, hey what’s the deal
I don’t sleep around and I don’t steal
I want the things you just can’t give me
I want the things you just can’t give me

‘Cause what you do to the least of these
My brothers you have done it to me
‘Cause I want the things you just can’t give me
I want the things you just can’t give me

Be the Change

2008-09-13T11:07:00.000-05:00

These are the lyrics to a song I wrote.
Let me know what you think.
I'll have an audio version soon.

See the old man in The Station
Begging For a change
“I hope he makes it through another day”

See the little boy in the street
Dirty hands, dirty feet
And You wonder where his mother is

Why are our hearts so hard?
Why are we so vain?

Wide awake
Dreaming of the day
When our hearts beat again
When we will be the change
Wide awake
It’s not so far away
So be a voice
And make a choice to
Be the Change

America has got a disease
That’s gonna bring us to our knees
If we, If we don’t find a cure

Ignorance, hate and greed
These will be a few things
To make these colors run

I can’t do it alone
It’s up to you and me

To Be
Wide awake
Dreaming of the day
When our hearts beat again
When we will be the change
Wide awake
It’s not so far away
So be a voice
And make a choice to
Be the Change

This is a story about Love
Why don’t you go out and be love?

And be
Wide awake
Dreaming of the day
When our hearts beat again
When we will be the change
Wide awake
It’s not so far away
So be a voice
And make a choice to
Be the Change

Solution

2008-09-03T10:11:00.000-05:00

So as many of you may know, I'm a huge Hillsong United fan.
I was blessed enough to see them last week in Indy.
The lyrics below help describe what I've been feeling as of late.

It is not a human right
To stare not fight
While broken nations dream
Open up our eyes so blind
That we might find
The mercy for the need

Hey now
Fill our hearts with Your compassion
Hey now
As we hold to our confession

Woah - oah
God be the solution
Woah - oah
And we will be Your hands
And be Your feet

It is not too far a cry
Too much to try
And help the least of these
Politics will not decide
If we should rise
And be Your hands and feet

Higher than all circumstance
Your promise stands
Your love for all to see
Higher than our protest lines
And dollar signs
Your love is all we need

Only You can mend the broken heart
And cause the blind to see
Erase complete the sinner's past
And set the captives free

Only You can take the widow's cry
And cause her heart to sing
Be the Father to the fatherless
Our Saviour and our King

We will be Your hands
We will be Your feet
We will run this race
For the least of these
In the darkest place
We will be Your light
We will be Your light

And we will be Your hands
We will be Your feet
We will run
We will run
We will run with the solution

Wide Awake

2008-09-01T19:33:00.000-05:00

So here I am again with a new blog site and yet another perspective on life.

Just so all of you readers know, I am alive and I am well!

I'm living in Champaign, IL working at Windsor Road CC as a Student Life Intern.

Basically, I get to hang out with kids and play music and experience worship with them.

Things are well.

I feel content.

I have yet to figure out if that's ok.

I just got done reading a book called "Wide Awake" by Erwin Raphael McManus.

If you like reading, I suggest you pick it up.

It helped solidify the past few months of my life.

It talked about how God will help make your dreams a reality if you just dream.

I'm living life and realizing things need to change.

Not things in my life, but things in the world.

I feel I am called to be change.

I feel you are called to be change.

I feel change is something that needs to take place now.

Presidential elections, governmental issues, and politics in general aside.

The change I am thinking of goes much deeper.

Jesus calls us to take care of widows, orphans, the poor, homeless.

How about those with AIDS? Cancer?

Uncomfortable yet?

All I want to get across is Love.

How hard is it to love?

Have you experienced real love?

Life changing love?

If you have, why not turn around and show the least of these Love.

I think it's pretty simple.

Here are some ideas...

Buy a homeless person a meal.

Spend some time playing in the streets with kids.

Give the single mom a ride to the grocery store.

Heck, buy her groceries.

Does she or one of her kids need a bed to sleep on?

Does she need a break?

These are simple things that can be done throughout everyday.

I look forward to introducing to you an idea that is becoming reality.

My dear friend Steve and his wife Diane are beginning Project Love.

Love will be a reality and no longer a feeling or an idea.

I have so much to say.

I don't want to sound like I'm on a soapbox.

Hold me accountable.

Make sure I am practicing the things I'm talking about.

I want to be an example.

I encourage you to be an example.